So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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