I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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