Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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