I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
