Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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