You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
