Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
