Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
