so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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