dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
