I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
