Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
