Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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