That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
