Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
