im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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