Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
