dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize