I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
