So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
