you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
