the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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