And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think a kid would responsible me up
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
