I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
