those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize