hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
