don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
