Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
