Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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