goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
