I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
