He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
