If i come over, it means nothing
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
