oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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