No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
