I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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