There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
