'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
