Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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