nut hugger
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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