I CAN MOONWALK!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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