Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
