the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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