Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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