the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
