i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
