Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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