i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize