Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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