no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
