Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
