I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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