He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
