alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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