another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
