got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
