the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize