My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize