"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
