somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.