we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call