when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
