She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
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i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
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By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.