I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
