All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.