i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!