You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize