i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
