maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
