i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
