When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
