I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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