i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
