Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize