so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
