I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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