put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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