I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
